You know you’ve been in Thailand too long when…

bangkok

You think it’s normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai-TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit…

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet..

You think that a Honda City is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You can’t remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

You aren’t upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.

You haven’t had a solid stool for five years…

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

A Thai bar girl you’ve just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wife’s loyalties belong to
1. Her parents.
2. Her brats from a previous marriage to other Thai-scoundrels who deserted her.
3. Any remaining blood relatives.
4. The family’s buffalo.
5. The family’s goldfish.
6. You…

You consider your mobile phone a fashion accessory.

You start wearing slippers everywhere…

You start driving cars barefeet…

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of videotapes.

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewellery.

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

Dogs become animals you’d rather kick than pet.

You believe someone with an IQ of 90 is really intelligent…

When driving a car you’ll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside…

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter S. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay (pretty).

h/t Tommy True Blue

Posted on May 18, 2009 | Filed Under Travel