Three Reasons To Watch Millionaire Matchmaker

1. The founder, and CEO, of The Millionaire’s Club, Patti Stanger. She is a terribly unattractive middle-aged woman with a sausage neck and botched lip injections. She likes to dress to give her body that sexy barrel shape with two chicken legs sticking out from it. She sits down to judge the women that are brought in groups of three and paraded before her like prize-winning dogs, and she tells them they need to get their hair dyed and their nails done and that they are not pretty enough for her millionaires. She also says on her website that no “Glamour Shots” will be accepted in the application process, which is ironic because the picture of her for said website looks like this:

Nothin glamour-y about that one.

In real life, she looks like this:

2. The COO of the company, Destin Pfaff. Another looker, Destin clearly has delusions of grandeur as he is in charge of something called the “Mental Makeover” part of the matchmaking process. He has what appears to have one of Lady Gaga’s rejected hats on top of his head, and some type of badger glued to the bottom of his face. This guy looks like Douchebag Central, and spends most of his time nodding along and agreeing with his megalomaniacal boss so that she won’t stab him with her pitchfork. Is he even aware that it’s not 1995 anymore?

3. And last, but certainly not least of this beautiful and charming bunch, is the VP of matching, Rachel Federoff. Rachel rounds out this delightful trio by mostly sitting around and saying nothing. Maybe that bratwurst on her forehead makes it hard for her to think, I don’t know, but she doesn’t seem to have two brain cells to rub together. Maybe Patti has threatened her life if she speaks because Patti won’t have any other woman take the spotlight, or maybe she’s just brain dead. Seems like that is a requirement to work for this place. In any case, girl could seriously use some of Stacy and Clinton’s advice. They’re on the same channel – couldn’t they throw her a bone?

Posted on December 6, 2010 | Filed Under TV

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