Random Funny One Liners

Published by Stickboy on March 31st, 2011

one liners

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time…..

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was
standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin… 3
hours later and they’re still walking about with it…
I thought to myself, these b*g**rs have lost the plot!!

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check
her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast ‘The Flintstones’.
A spokesman for the channel said….
‘A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but
we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.’

My son’s been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were €70
B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!


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