A Mans Guide To Dating Women Of The World
WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are flogged in public until you are dead.
No third date.
Posted on May 7, 2010 | Filed Under Laughs
18 Responses to A Mans Guide To Dating Women Of The World
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Brazilian Woman?
Let’s see if you get it right?
[...] A man’s guide to the sexiest women of the world. Kinda NSFW – DJ Mick [...]
[...] A man’s guide to the sexiest women of the world. Kinda NSFW – DJ Mick [...]
I’ve seen this email sent out before….everyone knows white girls give out head on the first date and on the third their willing to pay for an abortion
Argentinian women?
I’d love to see Brazilian women as well. I got some experience in this area…
Hey El Guapo Tell us about you experience… I wanna know what you guys think about us (brazilian girls)
and I can also tell what is like to most of ours dates (lol) at least what I’m used to seing, doing, and been told by friends that they did
you should try nigerian girls….probably worse than all the above COMBINED!!
I know Juh is a regular reader so maybe she can share with us what Brazilian girls do on the first three dates….
okay…
Brazilian woman
First (hmm she wont call it a date)
First time you see her (at club/ bar)
You get to second base without even knowing her name,now if you don’t ask for her number you’ll never hear from her again, if you ask…
Second (still not a date)
Yo’ll take her to the movie theater where you’ll do anything but watch the movie.
Thrid (still not a date)
Get her to a motel and get all you sexual fantasies realized.
So far she won’t consider this a serious relationship, so she won’t mind if you do the same with other girls. After about a month she will expect you to give her a silver ring and as her to be your girlfrind, then the sex gets better, but you have to give up the others girls, unless it’s in a threesome
Then you’ll start dating
Brazilian Woman
First date: You will go to see a comedy movie, You`ll driver her home and She`ll dances crew like mother melancia ( you secretly recorded it With your phone ;D)
Second Date: She discovers that you uploaded the video of her dancing crew to YouTube, Then She kicked you in the balls With the strength of Ronaldinho and Cristiano Ronaldo together.
Third Date: No third date
only pain in your heart and more pain in your balls of course ;D
LOL YOU KNOW THAT I WAS KIDDING, Anyway Brazilian babes love to do new thinks every moment so try to be less boring as you can, love and respect her
and Teach her new things all the time believe me you`ll have her in real life and not in the YouTube video ;D
Randeee… I laughted… you know very well the reactions… ever acctually dated one?
but he’s right don’t secretly film any woman, just ask the video looks better when you look to the camera lol.. kidding
[...] loooove stuff like this, really I do… A Mans Guide To Dating Women Of The World WHITE [...]
Those Brazilian women examples are lame. Here’s the true facts about dating Brazilians:
First date: You take her to the beach.
Second date: She lets you have anal sex with her.
Third date: You find out you have AIDS, you spend the entire day searching for her to no avail.
James, Well you should have worn protection… And yes is not likely that you’ll find her again
and not only with brazilian now-a – days even with nuns… always wear protection
Brazilian women:
1. You meet her on street in Lapa or in a club. You talk to her for 10-20 mins and as soon as she realizes she likes you, you start making out with all kinds of tongue gymnastics
2. Second date, you spend a day at the beach and/or go to Devassa for a beer. You have a heavy make out session, and there’s 50/50 she might come home with you
3. You meet for drinks, make out, and you know that she’s coming home with you. You have mind blowing sex.
It continues casual, but she reminds that if she ever sees with you another chick, she’ll cut your dick off…
She wants sex ALL THE TIME, several times per day and complaints when you don’t give it to her that much.
She is always wet and ready to go at a moment’s notice.
Oh and I totally forgot to metion…there are places/ dates of the year where you can come that even easier to get girls such as:
* Carnaval ( a “holy”day that lasts about a week that increases the comdom sell in about 200% lol, where the girls wear almost no clothes, get drunk and well,,, it doesn’t get any easier to take them to a alley or motel or anywhere really.. the music sucks, but I’ve been told that is worthed)
* Baile Funk ( Its a place whare they go to “dance” the “Funk” music… the lirycs are extremelly dirty and explicity most girls go in mini skirts and no panties(some sing about that) and some of them have sex on the middle of the dancefloor)
*Micareta (you could call it a “Axé” music Concert. There is a band playing, but 90% doesn’t even know the band’s name, they go to get drunk and kiss/hook up with strangers. A guyfriend of mine once kissed about 60 girls in 4 hours)
oh and, we don’t really consider a kiss without tongue
hoping you guys enjoy the tips… and come visit us sometime soon
most of us love foreings (gringos FYI)
dude,
1stly WHITE WOMEN are all different, whom are u on about English, Russian, American, German? or the only white girls u were aware of were from ur tiny town huh?
its a joke – note DJMick Laughs. And FYI, I don’t live in a tiny town, and never have.